Having your head on a swivel: An ugly reality of being a woman
By Isabella Disley
It was a typical midsummer sunny evening as I sat peacefully on a bench, waiting for the bus. A man began walking past me but stopped and said something to me.
“Sorry, what did you say?” I asked as I took out an earbud, figuring he needed directions on what route to take.
“Nice legs,” he said as he looked up and down at me and then continued to walk past me.
I put my earbud back in and internally scrunched my entire face and body in confusion and disgust. I was in my early teen years at the time—I was a kid.
The thoughts of what I should do swirled in my head. I prayed that he would not be on the same bus as me. I wish I had something to cover up my legs. Why did he do that? But the biggest thought was If it were an escalated situation, would anyone help me, and what do I do if I were alone?
As I recount this story as a 21-year-old, I have lost count of how many situations like these have occurred, not only for me, but for all the women in the world.
That ‘interaction’ is one of many of the discomforting, unsettling and terrifying moments that I and most women deal with on almost a daily basis.
Honks from a car or truck, daggers from the eyes and whistles are just the ‘minor’ events that happen to women as they go about their lives. Being followed home, hit on, cat-called, physically abused and so on, the list is never-ending.
We live in a society where women must plan for worst-case scenarios.
Knowing how to ask for help discreetly
Asking for help discreetly is important because some people may not be able to openly vocalize that they’re in danger. This is equally as important for people to be aware of the signs and code words. Asking for help discreetly allows others to help before involving authorities.
Angel shot – This code word is meant to sound like an item on the menu to discreetly ask for help when in an uncomfortable situation at a bar or restaurant. The employees are trained and educated on the code word and what to do when asked.
Ask for Angela – With the same concept as the angel shot, this code word was originally launched in Toronto but is now in Ottawa as well. There are signs explaining this code word on the doors of stores such as Loblaws and Shoppers Drug Mart.
Credit: City News Toronto
Hand signal – This one-handed gesture is a silent way of asking for help, for instance, when unable to use your voice.
Credit: B.PAC
How to protect yourself:
- Be aware of your surroundings and keep your distance from anything that seems suspicious
- Cross the street if you think you’re being followed
- Buddy system
- If you’re alone, make sure to be near other people and stay in well-lit areas
- Scream for help
- Carry a personal alarm
- Take self-defence courses
Resources to call in Ontario: (other than 911)
- Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 1-866-863-0511 or text #7233 (24/7, multilingual)
- Fem’aide Support Line: 1-877-336-2433 (24/7, French only)
- Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text #686868 (24/7, multilingual)
- Ontario Community and Social Services Helpline: 211 (24/7)
- Victim Support Line: 1-888-579-2888 (24/7)
- Phone numbers vary for university and college campuses
Knowing the signs, code words, what to do and who to contact is essential for women’s safety and protection. Preparation empowers women with the reassurance that help will be there when they need it.
