Choosing the Single Life 

Marriage rates for opposite-sex couples in Canada have been on the decline for decades. In 1981, 10.5 per cent of women between the ages of 30 and 34 and 6.3 per cent of women between 55 and 59 had never been married. In 2011, these percentages had increased to 43.4 per cent for women in their early 30s and 11.2 per cent for women in their late 50s. 

The number of Canadians aged 25 to 29 that are part a couple has also declined with a drop of almost 30 per cent between 1981 and 2021.  

So, why are more Canadians now avoiding marriage?  

Part of it may be that women are actually quite content being single. In a study done by psychology PhD candidate, Elaine Hoan, and her professor, Geoff MacDonald, at the University of Toronto, women were found to be happier with their single status than men. In fact, women were also found to be less inclined to search for a partner than men.  

One reason why women are more likely to be happy with being single, while men seem to be experiencing a “loneliness epidemic” is that women tend to have more of a community.  

Friendships between women tend to have more emotional depth than friendships between men. Women talk about their problems, give each other support and tell their friends they love them. This isn’t to say no men this, just fewer male friendships provide the same amount of support.  

Women are also more likely to seek out social activities and clubs. Exercise classes and book clubs have a majority women membership. Even single moms have formed their own community through the creation of mommunes.  

However, community is just one reason for a woman’s happiness. 

Laura Thomson, 28, resides with her parents in Hanover, Ont. Thomson says she is quite happy being single and has no intentions of ever changing that.  

“I like being able to do whatever I want whenever I want without having to think about another person,” says Thomson. “Being single, I don’t have to worry about other people’s feelings. I have enough of my own feelings to deal with.” 

Thomson has built connections with women who are in her pole fitness classes. On top of that, she has her family, long-term friends and her dogs to keep her company — no feelings of intense loneliness for her. 

Thomson points out that a lot of women may also be reconsidering marriage because of the pressure it puts on women. 

“Laundry, dishes, cleaning and childcare are all considered women’s work,” says Thomson.  

Despite women making up almost half of the labour force in Canada, they are still doing the majority of the housework. A University of Alberta study examined the contributions made around the house between men and women in long-term relationships from the ages of 25 to 50. The findings found that women were consistently doing the bulk of the chores around the home and majority of the child rearing. Comparing the amount that women and men did at different ages showed the amount of work men do around the house never increases.  

While not all men blame their loneliness on women, there is a subset of men known as incels (a portmanteau of involuntary and celibate) who do blame their romantic failures on women. The majority of incels spread hate online with a handful actually going out of their way to harm people.  

Instead of acknowledging women as people who are allowed to step away from insanely outdated gender roles, incels ​would ​rather spread hate online. With an increase in male loneliness, an increase in incel rhetoric is found. Incels also tend to have their own forums on the Internet; maybe men really are just craving community. However, it isn’t on women to keep men happy. This is part of a larger societal issue — one that will take a long time to fix.  

It has been less than 100 years since Canada added women into the legal definition of “persons” (although, this really only included white women).​But, it does feel like it​ has taken ​a little over a​ century for women to finally be allowed to make their own choices regarding their lives and relationship status. Even now, women are experiencing pushback. Though, if you want to be single, whether forever or just for a few years, it is ultimately your decision to make.