Lifestyle & Family

Solo dates: Fall in love with yourself

The benefits of venturing out on your own, and ideas for solo dates.

Courtesy of Oleksandr Pidvalnyi

Recently, the practice of taking oneself out on a date has been growing in popularity.

It may seem strange, but whether you have a significant other or not, taking yourself on solo dates can be a great way to connect with yourself, gain independence and experience things you might have missed out on otherwise.

At first, taking yourself out might feel lonely, awkward and maybe even embarrassing. However, many women who go on solo dates have reported learning some pretty life-changing lessons.

Take for example, Natalie Lusinski. 

Lusinki is an online blogger that decided to travel the world and take herself on dates after her breakup. In an article for Bustle, she shared a few lessons learned and how they helped her fall in love with herself.

Self-confidence came easier

Lusinski described how she forced herself to sit in her own awkwardness until it eventually went away, and she became comfortable in her own company. “Sitting by yourself at a restaurant or doing an activity on your own can be awkward at first, and you can feel the need to take out props to make yourself look busy.”

After mastering the art of sitting alone at a restaurant, you will unlock a world of awesome solo activities. Now within your realm of possibilities are: attending a concert none of your friends were available for, going to see a movie no one else wanted to see or enjoying the quiet solitude of a hike that friends were too tired for. 

The value of meditation

Courtesy of Daniel Mingook Kim

You don’t necessarily have to be into meditation to do it. Many solo activities are inherently meditative, like hiking, kayaking and walking.

This can be very rewarding.

“You learn to appreciate the silences, being disconnected from your phone, and thinking about what truly makes you happy in life,” shared Lusinki. 

Push yourself

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can be difficult, especially when doing things alone. However, the confidence you gain, and the refreshing feeling of accomplishment, will make it all worth it. 

Start with an activity you enjoy and take it to a new level! 

Lusinski shared that she enjoys kayaking on the lake and pushed herself out of her comfort zone by venturing alone on the ocean. Incremental growth is a great approach because it allows you to start with something you’re already familiar with, making pushing yourself out of that comfort zone bubble all the easier. 

Explore interests you didn’t know you had

Taking your life and interests by the reins is an exciting moment. You’ll be able to write down all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, no matter how big or small, and finally do them. You won’t have to wait for anyone to make time or to be interested in what you want to do. 

“You just learn to make it happen because the payoff is much better than regretting not doing it,” wrote Lusinski. 

Now or never attitude

Have you ever wanted to do something that had a time limit and missed it because none of your friends could make the time? Perhaps a festival or a movie opening? 

Adapting a now or never attitude allows you to do things anytime you want. You’ll be on your own schedule, and you won’t have to wait for your friends to have time. 

“Chances are, like me, you’ll love that you had the experience versus just wishing it to happen and not knowing when,” Lusinski wrote. 

Courtesy of Suzy Hazelwood

Managing your finances better

One important aspect of solo dates is the financial responsibility – and freedom. As you are responsible for every dollar that you spend, that means that if there is a day where you’d prefer not to spend a penny, you don’t have to. This also means you won’t feel pressured to take part in an activity that requires you to spend a huge amount if you don’t want to.

That being said, if you want to spend a day treating yourself, no one will be there to dissuade you and the possibilities will remain endless. 

Solo dating is cost-effective and keeps plans flexible as your mood or what you want to do that day changes. “You learn to balance the free with the not-so-free,” said Lusinski.

Being a better dater

Courtesy of Oleksandr Pidvalnyi

“Many relationship experts say that you can’t love someone unless you love yourself,” Lusinski wrote. 

Enjoying your own company means that you don’t need someone to be fulfilled, but rather you have gotten to the place where a significant other becomes a nice addition to your already fulfilling life. 

Lusinski shares that she had more confidence when she re-started going out on dates with other people because she had more experiences to fall back on. 

You’ll have new skills, new places to recommend, and most importantly, you won’t feel desperate for a second date if the first one was mediocre because, in the end, you still have yourself to fall back on. 

Solo date ideas

  1. Workshops or classes (such as cooking, dancing, art, mixology, pottery, lipstick making) 
  2. Pop-up events 
  3. Museums/art galleries
  4. Movie theatre 
  5. Concerts 
  6. Farmer’s market
  7. Coffee shop 
  8. Chill night in 
  9. Self-care/spa day
  10. Shopping spree 
  11. Outdoor activity (walking, hiking, kayaking, paddle boarding) 
  12. Play tourist in your own city 
  13. Fitness classes 
  14. Volunteer 
  15. Restaurant 
  16. Sky diving
  17. Flower shop 
  18. Road trip 
  19. Watch the sunset 
  20. Beach day 
  21. Comedy show
  22. Trip abroad 
  23. Read in a park 
  24. Staycation

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